Seeking Solace & Liberation
It's been a while since I sat down and properly wrote like this. I keep apologising for my absence, but I think it's time for me to come clean about what's been happening in the latter half of 2017 and early 2018.
When I came back to Indonesia after about 2 and a half years living in the UK, I came back to an immense culture shock, not only from my surroundings but my lifestyle as well. I had to revamp my lifestyle and responsibilities, having to think of things other than myself and my wellbeing. In a way, my last few months in Newcastle was a real blessing because I got to find myself and realise what makes me happy in life. However, my stay was cut short, and I had to come back earlier than I had initially planned.
Coming back, I also remembered the things about my birthplace that I hated and it all came rushing back to me like a tidal wave. It was a lot to take in. In addition to that, my relationship had crumbled and decayed. We barely had any time for each other and the time difference made it impossible to have quality time. We decided to part ways, and while we are still friends to this day, I can't help but feel like a part of me so vital just withered away and died.
In addition to that, my Grandma got sick with an incurable disease that left me devastated. I was there to watch as her condition got worse–up until she let go of her final breath. Her death hit my family hard, and she was the only remaining grandparent I had from my mom's side. Since then, we have been trying to move on from that and handle things with grace.
There's something about Bali that is just so soothing. For what seemed like forever, I felt like I could breathe. After a short four-day break away from the hustle and bustle of the city, I'm back in full swing and ready to get back into the groove of things. Hopefully, I'll be able to post more regularly now that things have died down.